Dear Bently,

You are just a couple days away from being a big 3 year old and I can't even begin to describe how hard this birthday has been for me. For some reason 1 year and 2 years old didn't seem like such a big deal. You still seemed little to me. But 3. 3 is big. Three is preschool and swim lessons and soccer teams. Three is talking in full sentences and having friends. Three is learning to share and showing compassion and thinking of others. Three is doing things with out Mommy. Three is entering the kid world and leaving the toddler one behind. I think what is getting to me the most is three represents three years of not being able to be at home with you all the time. Three years I've missed. Three years worth of memories I don't have. That has hit me hard this week. Even with all the sadness I am so excited to continue to watch you grow and change. And I am so grateful for the memories and fun we have experienced together these last 3 years! :)You are so excited for your Spiderman birthday party and I am excited to watch you just be happy. Nothing gives me more joy than watching you be happy. I love you my almost big boy!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Life sure is getting exciting in the White household. You are growing like a weed and getting bigger and smarter every day. I swear you are always learning. You are such a happy baby. I hope you always keep that happiness. I hope you always find the good in life. Even in the hard times there are always good times to be found! Your Dad and I went on a little get away for a night and it was so weird us both being a way from you. We missed you like crazy! Melissa was bringing you back and we were literally standing outside on the curb waiting for her to get there. All I wanted was to have you back in my arms! Any time I get with you is so precious Bently. I think it's not only because I love you so much but because I work full time. I hate it. I hate sleeping while you are home and up and happy. The only thing that keeps me going is knowing this isn't going to last forever! Dad has finally decided what he wants to go to school for so hopefully the time will go by quickly and I will be done and home with my favorite little man all the time! :)
Like I said, you are figuring things out! The other day you handed me a Tupperware container full of cereal. Usually you just want me to shake it for you and then you are happy. But this time when I handed it back to you, you gave it straight back to me. After another round of this I realized you wanted me to open it for you and give you some. You were as happy as a clam after that. Since you point at everything you want. Well it's not really pointing, it's more like you reach your hand out like you are trying to grab it. Today I was outside with you and we just went from object to object touching and feeling different things. I love watching you explore your enviormentt! I love watching you grow and learn! I feel so incredibly blessed every day that I get to be your mother. I pray all the time that I can be the mother you deserve! Never ever forget how much I love you!
Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

I've been meaning to write you forever! But life is just crazy hecktik as usual! :) Here we are, Easter Sunday, (april 8, 2012) and you are already one! I can't even believe it! I still look at you and see my tiny little baby. That soft little newborn I brought home from the hospital. I remember constantly marveling at how small you were. You're little hand would grab onto my fingers and I would just stare at those tiny fingers. I couldn't believe something so small could hold my heart so tightly. Even though you are bigger now, you still hold my heart little man. Everyday I get to spend with you is my favorite day. I hate having to work but it's what we have to do at this time. I can't wait for the day when I can stay home with you and get to snuggle and read to you and wake up with you in the morning! Seriously can't wait!
You're birthday was so special. I think all first birthdays are. I know you'll never go back to being a baby. You are a toddler and a big boy now. I know you already see yourself that way! As all the people who love you gathered around and sang happy birthday I couldn't help but get chocked up. I looked over at your Dad and at you sweet face and I just felt the severe and utter joy that surrounded that moment. As I watched the flickering candle I told Dad to make a wish for you, since you weren't old enough to make one yourself. I wish so many things for you my boy. I guess what I wish more than anything is for you to live a life full of happiness and love. :)
We took you to the zoo on your actual birthday and it was too fun. You weren't exactly super excited about looking at the animals but you still enjoyed yourself! I loved holding you and pointing at the animals. I loved watching you get excited and slightly scared watching the porcupines run around. I love your wonder at looking at the birds. I loved your sweet smile while staring at the monkeys! The whole day was magical and wonderful. It's a day I wish I could replay over and over again! You have given me so many amazing memories already and it's only been a year! Kid you have quite an influence over your Mother!
This morning was so fun! Last Easter you were only a couple weeks old and just laid there the whole time. This Easter you were able to crawl around and gather the eggs and put them in the basket.You LOVED all the candy and constantly wanted more! You looked so cute in the outfit we gave you! You are so funny now! You LOVE to walk! Not by yourself, but if someone is holding onto your hands then you practically run everywhere! The whole time you are walking you are just laughing and grinning! :) It always makes my day! :)
I love you so much Bently. I wish I could spend every second of everday with you! :) You are my whole world son!!
Love,
Mom

Dear Bently

As I sit this you are sitting on my lap. I can't believe how big you are! And how much you wish you could play with the keyboard. I know someday I will look back on this and long for the days where you sit on my lap. I seriously love it. I worked 10 hours today and I hated being away from you. It's the worst! But I got to come home from my lunch and I was trying to nap but all you wanted to do was "talk" and play! :) I couldn't resist your big smiles and you cute jabber! It made going to work all that much harder. As I buckled you all snug into your carseat I gave you about a million kisses!! You are so good to put up with my kisses. You just have the perfect kissing cheeks and I can't resist! Now I am home and you just woke up from your nap! So here we are. Two peas in a pod. You are my little best friend and I hope you think the same way about me. I love you Bently! More than you know. I hope one day you'll be able to read these letters and realize how much I love you. I am planning to give them to you on your 18th birthday. I can't even imagine you that old now. But I know the time goes by too fast. You are my whole world little bew! I hope no matter how old you get you always realize how much I love you!!!
Love you with all my heart,
Mommy