Dear Bently,

Today you were my shopping buddy while Daddy stayed home with Liv. We went to Walmart and Smiths and then got snow cones! I can't even tell you how much I value time with just us. It's few and far between so I know I have to make it count! I asked you tons of questions and listened to your sweet little answers. I loved talking to you about what you saw. We held hands and jumped like crazy people down the aisles and pretended to be frogs together. As we walked out of Walmart I pointed out a BIG truck to you! You told me it was so big it could touch the sky! :) I love listening and getting glimpses into your mind! I love you so much Bently Elmer! I am constantly amazed by how wonderful and perfect you are. I have no idea how I got so lucky to get such a sweet little boy like you! You are adorable and I love you more than I could ever explain to you!

Love,

Mom

Us at the snow cone place!

Dear Bently,

Kid you are too funny. I say this all the time but your speech just is making leaps and bounds. I am always surprised by the things you know how to say. Yesterday you were pretending to be a coo-coo clock and I was like, "how the heck do you know what a coo-coo clock is?!" Today you woke up calmly got out of bed, walked out of the room, walked back in the room, and said "Mama wake up. Turn the dark off!" Which translated means turn the lights on. Hahaha! 


You have began this thing when you make your eyes go as big as possible as you talk. You do it mostly when you get excited or want our attention. It's pretty hilarious! I am trying very hard to catch it on video because it makes me laugh so hard. I hope you never stop doing it! Today you were helping me make waffles and we poured in a cup of milk. You exclaimed with your big eyes, "That's a lot of milk!"


I love you so freaking much! You make me laugh everyday and I love how our relationship is changing now that you can communicate more effectively. It's so fun to get a peak inside what you are thinking! :)


Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Your Daddy said you needed me today. I guess you woke up in the middle of the night and asked for me. You wanted your mommy! It made me happy and broke my heart all at the same time. I still count down to the day when I get to be home with you all the time. It may not be in the too near future but I know it's coming! After your Dad told me I just sat there by your bed and watched you sleep. I couldn't believe how incredibly perfect you are! You are one handsome boy! I held your hand and kissed you. :) I am so grateful for quiet moments with you. Even if you don't remember them, it's moments like these I will hold in my heart forever.  I love you handsome man more than you'll ever know!


Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Today we were just sitting at the dinner table talking after eating dinner. You randomly run your fingers through my hair and in your sweet 3 year old voice you say, "Mom your hair is beautiful!" (I wish you could hear how you said beautiful because it was stinking cute!) I laugh and tell you thank you. You, without missing a beat, say "Dad your hair is puffy!" Which of course it was. We laughed so hard. You are pretty hilarious my Bently boy! :)

Also today you kept telling me you didn't love mom you loved dad. Fed up I started to tickle you every time you say it! (You have been such a mommy's boy recently I know you say it to get a reaction out of me!) You laughed and laughed. In that moment I caught a glimpse of you smiling at me, laughing your head off, and I couldn't help but think, this is the life. Boy, you are my happiness and I am so incredibly grateful to have you!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently and Olivia,

Real Life. That is what I am living. Well I guess that's what we're all living. :) When I imagined growing up, getting married, having children, I expected the fairy tale. Adoring husband, perfectly behaved children, white picket fence, of course I would be a stay at home mom, and the house would be spotless and smell of chocolate chip cookies. This is not my reality. My reality right now, today, is as follows. Husband is sick, throwing up every hour or so. Livvy is teething and is crying and wanting to be held almost constantly. Also not napping. Bently is adorable and is such a trooper for taking the back seat. The house is a mess. Seriously. Dishes are stacked everywhere, the family room floor needs to be vaccumed, badly. The bathroom is starting to look like a public bathroom (eww), and the list could go on and on. The kia needs an oil change, but we're out of money for this pay period. I am trying to clean and cook and take care of 2 crying kids (yes one of those is daddy! ;) Plus working full time. I am currently living off of 4 hours of broken sleep and it's making me extra emotional! I sat here at work thinking of all the things I had to do and feeling very overwhelmed. I suffer with comparing my life to others. I want that picture perfect life I dreamed about as a child. I want to be home all the time with my babies, I want to buy a house and fill it to the brim with memories. As I sat, wallowing in self pity, I realized, this is real life. No one, NO ONE, has the perfect life. All lives are filled with trials and sorrows. I guess what I am trying to say, is when you grow up, get married, have babies, don't be surprised if it's not exactly how you pictured it. If you don't have the nicest furniture, or a full set of matching dishes, or a house. Don't feel overwhelmed when the dishes pile up in the sink and the children are screaming and you make waffles for dinner because frankly, you barley had time to do that. Because I learned today, I need to enjoy these moments. The moments when my kids are little, where I am a 911 dispatcher and have the opportunity, every single day to help someone. The time where your Dad gets to be home, to share in special memories with you. There is so much beauty in my life. Bently and Olivia, you guys are a big majority of that beauty. You and your Dad. You guys are my happiness, my happily ever after. You make every single day amazing. I have so much to be grateful for and I truly feel like I am living my fairy tale. Sure it has it's downs and twist and turns, but how boring would your story be if it was perfect? I guess this long rambling letter is just to tell you, life isn't always perfect. It hardly ever turns out how you plan, and that is ok. Because you can do hard things. You can overcome and move on, and become a better person because of what you've been through. Trust in the Lord and his plan and his timing and all will be okay in the end. I promise.


I love you both so much. Thank you for your smiles and endless hugs and kisses. I can't get enough of my adorable babies!


Love,
Your very tired and rambling Mom.

Dear Bently,

Today we went swimming with Aunt Shawna and her family and Aunt Janaye. The weird part is it was just you and me. Your Dad stayed home with Olivia. We had so much fun and I enjoyed the opportunity to spend a little one on one time with you! :) It was so neat to cuddle you and hold you close and listen to what you had to say! I love every second of our little Mommy son date together! :)

Oh and earlier today while watching "Frozen", again, you cuddled with me on the couch! I loved laying there holding you close and of course randomly tickling you! It was a pretty perfect day! I love you so much son!

Love,
Mom

P.s. Icing on the cake, you started calling me Mommy today! Cutest thing ever! :)

Dear Bently,

We celebrated Easter today! You had a blast, at least as far as I could tell! We had a strange Easter because I worked till 5 am. So we didn't actually hunt for eggs till after 12! Ops! We loved hunting for the eggs though you were really REALLY bad at finding the eggs. You are just not a good looker. You just stand there staring. We're like, "Bently look right there!" and some how you still don't see it. Haha! You had a blast doing it though! You would exclaim, "Oh an egg!" every time! :) We also did a little hunt outside with plastic eggs. You didn't improve much even with the earlier practice! We came inside and you started to open some eggs. Your Dad had put money in a couple of them because that's what Grandma Hodson had done when he was little. There was one with some change and one with a dollar bill. I filmed you opening the change one but you didn't have much reaction. Then as you opened the egg with the dollar bill (when I wasn't filming of course! :( ) You exclaimed "Oh my gosh!! Money!" I guess you already know a dollar is more impressive than some change! ;)


Later I was feeling guilty because we didn't make it to church due to my working so late. I really wanted you to know the real meaning of Easter. So I tried to explain the resurrection to you as best I could in terms you would understand. In the middle of the story you stop to tell me, "Jesus gave me my Spiderman puzzle." I didn't quite know how to react to that one! ;) So maybe you didn't quite understand the story, but at least you know Jesus gives you things! ;)


I love you my big boy. You seriously look so old to me now. I can't believe that you are a kid now and not a little toddler. It makes me a  little sad! :( I love you more than words could possibly describe. I hope you always know I have a testimony of the resurrection. That I know our family can be together forever, even after this life, because of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice for us.


I love you Bently!


Love,
Mom