Dear Bently,

We moved! We are living in Vernal now, thus the hiatus in my letters! And the very best thing about moving, I'm a stay at home mom! I'm so super excited and have been loving being home with you cuties! On to the letter. 

So I fee weird starting this way but you have become much more independent in the bathroom! You can now basically do pee all by yourself! It's been super fantastic actually. You really don't like doing things yourself and avoid it if we'll do it for you. So it was a pretty big surprise where one day I caught you going potty by yourself! It made me wonder how long you've been doing it for. :) 

You've done pretty good with the move. You'll sometimes ask to go to grandmas or grandpas house and you ask about preschool but the translation has been smooth overall. I keep asking if you like the old house or new house better and you keep saying the old house. I guess we'll see if that opinion ever changes! 

So I try really hard to not let you see me cry, but sometime it happens. It's happened twice recently. Probably because I'm overly emotional with the stress of moving. Anyways the first time I was crying because I lost my wallet with a lot of cash in it. You were so sweet. You kept telling Livvy not to talk because mommy lost her wallet. You kept telling me not to be sad. The second time I was hiding in my closet so you wouldn't see me crying. Apparently you noticed and told dad mom sad. I go hug her. You immediately came up stairs calling my name and told me not to be sad giving me lots of hugs and kisses. I can't even tell how grateful I was to have you to cheer me up. You made my mommy heart just melt into a puddle! 

Last night dad was working so it was just me putting you to bed. It you asked me to lay next to you. I decided to enjoy the moment and I did. We giggled and talked and cuddled and you gave me tons of hugs and kisses!!! I love that you give me tons of hugs and kisses. I cherish moments like that one! It was so incredibly perfect I found myself tearing up just holding you and cuddling you and thinking of how fast you're growing up! 

We decorated the Christmas tree! You loved it of course! You did pretty good at putting the ornaments on actually. And enjoyed telling us all about them! The only problem is you still love the ornaments and often take them off though you have been told not to. I think it's mostly because of olivia. She is a bad influence on you. I don't think you quite understand that she is held to different rules than you. Last night you guys knocked the Christmas tree over! I can't say if it was you or liv but I believe it was a team effort. You mostly just thought it was hilarious! 

So I don't know if I've mentioned this before but you refuse to let anyone else have your favorite things as theres. For example your favorite color is green and so is dads. Whenever dad says his favorite color is green and adamantly exclaim "No! Your favorite color is blue!" You both have many arguements about this fact. Well it turns out giraffes are your favorite animal and they are mine too. So whenever I tell you giraffes are my favorite animal you always say, "No mom, your favorite animal is hippos!" It is hilarious to try and argue the point. But I don't mind too much because you are so adorable and I love you having favorites. When we went to the zoo you exclaimed, "Oh giraffes that my favorite animal!" You exclaim this every time you see green or giraffes or animal mechanicals, ect. It's pretty dang adorable. I love how excited you get over things now. 

Speaking of things you love all the Christmas lights. My favorite part is you have started adding L's into random words. So Christmas lights is chilstmas lights. Or today you said "plenguins" I don't know why you do it but it's adorable. :)

Alright this letter has become much longer than I expected. I love you my adorable little guy! I can't wait to celebrate Christmas with you!

Love,

Mom

Dear Bently,

I may have down played your sleeping issues. You just hate going to sleep! In face you tell us all the time, "I don't like bedtime!" I really think you are just scared! The neighbors make quite a bit of noise and you are always yelling "What's that noise!" When I tell you, "Oh it's just the neighbors." You say "I don't like the neighbors!" Haha! It's been frustrating and tiring! Then last night your Aunt Janaye was over and suggested I play you some music. To be honest, I thought there was no way that would help. You are very particular about how things are suppose to be done. But I went in and told you I was going to play you some sleep music. I turned on some relaxation station on Pandora and left. You were out like a light in 5 minutes tops! I'm hoping this could solve some of our problems! :) I'll let you know!

So we're moving in less than two weeks! I haven't mentioned it because I was waiting for Daddy to get the all clear on his shoulder injury and he did today! I'm excited for this new adventure and I am extra excited to be able to be a stay at home Mommy for the first time ever! Well excited and a little scared! But I know it'll be great! My biggest worry with moving is you actually. I don't know how you're going to handle it! I try and talk it up all the time but you mostly tell me you don't want a new house and your too little! I know the change is going to be hard and I just hope you adjust quickly. I hope you realize as your Mom I worry about you all the time! I don't think that'll ever change! So forgive me if you find me too controlling, I'm probably just trying to protect you!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Yesterday 11/12/2014 was a pretty big day in your book! You had your very first dentist appointment! The day before and the day after we tried to talk it up as much as possible! I don't think you were very convinced because you kept telling us, "No dentist! That later!" "I'm too busy to go to the dentist!" Hahaha! But when it came down to it you went to the dentist willingly! I'm not going to lie I was a little nervous about how you would react! You used to be such an easy going child but now, being afraid of everything has made your reactions harder to predict. But you climbed up without hardly any hesitation into that big chair. I could tell you were nervous but you didn't struggle. They laid you back and your Dad and I could both tell you were nervous so we cheered, a lot! Haha! The dentist even remarked that you have a great cheering section! What can we say, we're supportive! :) They were able to brush your teeth and count them (you have 20) and the doctor said everything looks great! :) The best part is you got a toy at the end! You had a hard time understanding you just got one! You kept trying to pick multiple toys! :) I can't believe you are old enough to go to the dentist! And I am one proud momma of my brave little man! :) I love you Bently!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

As a parent I am experiencing many things for the first time. Lately the thing that has me most intrigued is how your relationship with your children changes. You always love them! I love you now matter what! But as you've gotten older, and able to express yourself more, I feel closer to you in a different way than I do Livvy! You can tell me what your thinking and feeling. You tell me you love me all the time! It's actually my favorite thing you do! You randomly just say "I love you Mom!" You also love giving me hugs and kisses! To be honest it can be a little tiresome. You always choose to give me hugs and kisses at the most inconvenient times! When I'm really busy or trying to do something you go, "I need a hug and a kiss!" It's adorable and I've made it my new goal to appreciate these times! I know it won't always be cool to hug and kiss your mom! Sorry I got a rant! The point is our relationship now, I feel so close to you! I honestly feel like we have such a special relationship and I treasure it with all of my soul! :) I hope you always feel as close to me as I do you! :)

 

On a side note, the other night you were having an extremely hard time going to sleep. I think it has something to do with all the fears you currently have! After fighting you to go to bed for quite some time I just laid down next to you and to my surprise you fell asleep rather quickly. The best part was you took your little arm and wrapped it around my neck. Every time I tried to leave you just grasped me tighter. I loved every second of it and ended up falling asleep next to you!

 

I love you handsome boy! Thank you for being my very best friend!

 

Love,
Mom

 

p.s. Here are some selfies we took together this morning! You crack me up kid!

 

 

Dear Bently,

I forgot to mention one of the funny things that happened while we were trick or treating! We got to the house and Bently loved to knock! Livvy near the end got in on the knocking too! ;) Well Bently knocked and the door swung open. I guess it hadn't been shut all the way to begin with Bently and Olivia began to just walk inside there house! We're like "No no stop! Come back!" Hahaha! We pulled you out just as the owner of the home came walking up to the door! It was a little awkward to be standing there with their door wide open! Haha! Luckily it was someone we kinda knew! It was hilarious! You two are going to be partners in crime! I can see it already!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

We have had the busiest couple days trying to fit in as many Halloween things as possible! It all started on the 29th when we went to "Pumpkin Palooza". Now I found this from a flyer and we decided to try it. Let me tell you, I was pretty disappointed. It was basically a bunch of business trying to sell you things. There was little to no Halloween activities let alone activities for preschoolers. But we did do the blow up toys. We paid a dollar to get in and then were informed that only gave us 10 minutes. Even though that was lame, it was worth it to watch you have so much fun! You seriously were laughing and jumping and singing with the music they had playing! I had a blast just watching you! :)

You also met Minnie and Mickey Mouse! We happened to be right there when they came out so we didn't have to wait in line at all. I was very curious to see how you would react. You are in a fears stage and are afraid of most everything! But to my surprise you gave them hugs and high fives and told them hello! It was adorable! :)

After that we went trick or treating to all the different businesses booths. It was a good intro to trick or treating and we came out with a fair amount of candy! :)

On the 30th you had your Halloween preschool program! Now you have been looking forward to this program for a very long time. Basically all month. You would ask us almost every night before you went to sleep if you got to be Spiderman at preschool the next day. :) Finally the day had arrived. You were on cloud nine getting into your spidey suit! You were shooting webs and talking up a storm! You were so stinking adorable in your program! I was worried you wouldn't sing loud because you tend to get stage fright! But nope, you and Brynnlee were the loudest singers in the whole group! You had a smile on your face the whole time and tried to do every single action! Of course your Mommy got a little choked up watching you preform. You just seemed so grown up singing all those songs with the other kids. I was so proud of you! :) At the very end when you had sang all your songs you yelled out with the biggest grin on your face "Let's do that again!" That's my boy!

We also finally got pumpkins on the 30th. We just went to the little fruit stand down the road and picked some out. I had no idea they would be so expensive! 24 dollars later we walked out with our pumpkins! Again, worth it because you loved walking around the pumpkin patch! Every pumpkin you wanted was either huge or ugly or rotten. You were not very good at picking out pumpkins! ;) We went home and decided to let you paint on the pumpkins instead of trying to carve them. You loved it! In hind sight I wish I wouldn't have given you black paint, it took over the whole pumpkin! But you were sure proud of your pumpkin! :) And you took such care to paint your pumpkin. It's funny beining a parent,. All these activities that weren't very fun for me, I LOVED because you had a blast. Your happiness is everything to me! Your happiness is more important than mine. I hope you realize I would do almost anything to give you joy! ;) (Excluding buying you every single toy in the store!)

Then it was finally Halloween! Again you had been asking us all week if it was Halloween and yet and then, it was! We had orange waffles (I died them) for breakfast. You of course didn't eat hardly any of it! Valerie invited us to go to her works trick or treat. They had all the desks in this huge office building supplied with candy and goodies! I didn't know what to expect but off we went! :) Well let me tell you, we probably walked out with 3 lbs of candy or more! Everyone told you to take multiple and there were so many desks to go to! We seriously could have not gone trick or treating that night because we already had more than enough! :) I thoroughly enjoyed watching you say thank you and trick or treat to everyone. You again got lots of good practice.

I spent the rest of the time getting ready for dinner. What started out as a small simple family dinner exploded into quite the event! We had Sue and Ron Hyer, Grandma Kay Lynn and Grandpa Paul, Grandma and Grandpa Hodson, Annie and Scott Dickey, and Melissa Hyer all over for dinner! Let me tell you, it was fun and stressful all at once! I think it's just a miracle it all came together as well as it did! :) You had a blast playing with your grandparents! You ended up feeding Papa Ron for a second! I guess you really wanted to play on his phone but he told you he needed to be done eating first! So you began to feed him! Telling him to swallow and asking him if his mouth was full! It was pretty cute! Melissa got you dress in your Halloween outfit and of course everyone gushed over how cute you looked! :) You were so excited to be Spiderman! OH and I would like to mention Janaye and Aunt Stacey and Uncle Jesse also came to dinner, just later! So I ended up feeding 15 people! Crazy!

I had a goal to get a really cute, really good family picture of us in our costumes! Last year we didn't end up with a picture I liked and I was so disappointed! So I was pretty dang determined. The lighting was perfect and we had someone to take our picture so we didn't even have to use a tripod. But alas, you and Livvy did not want to take a picture! Livvy was tired and you were running literally in circles through the backyard. I think you were pretending to be Spiderman which was cute but not what I was wanting. So we didn't really get a single good picture. I am thinking on my days off coming up I am going to convince your Dad to dress up again and go take a good picture in the leaves some where. We'll see if we have anytime for that! And and then you fell asleep in the car! Like zonked out! Hahaha! Luckily it was a rejuvenating cat nap because you woke up in a great mood!

Then we loaded up in the car and were off to go see Grandma Curtis who of course oohed and ahhed over our cute costumes and took tons of awkward pictures! ;) Then we went trick or treating joined by Stacey, Jesse, Janaye, and Courtney! We had so much fun! You and Livvy got so into it! And you were such a great big brother helping Livvy and making sure she got candy! You ran around and fell multiple times! (You are a little klutzy) And again we walked away with so much candy! You insisted on holding your candy bag even when you could barley lift it! It was pretty adorable.

Then it was time to go home and go to bed. I think you had a fantastic Halloween! I know I did! ;) Today you woke up and asked if we were going to go trick or treating tonight! I told you know and you responded with your typical "Later?" It was hard to explain to you that you have to wait another year before Halloween to come again! I can't believe you'll be 4 next Halloween! Time is going by too fast handsome! :) I love you so much! I work so hard to make sure you have fantastic holidays! :)

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

I feel like I can never get enough time with you! Even if I spend all day with you, it never feels like enough. Partly because I'm always running around like crazy trying to get everything done. So even on my days off, I feel like we don't often get a ton of quality time! I hate it but I know it won't be like this forever! And I just try and take advantage of the time we do get as much as possible!

Today we I was taking Valerie's bridals so we were driving around in the canyons! You kept telling me we were going to go see the leaves! :) Since Valerie was in her dress I climbed in the back with you and Liv. I had a blast sitting back there with you guys! You talked to me the whole way and sang and danced! My favorite part was on the way home you reached over and grabbed my arm and just wrapped both your arms around it. For a moment, you were asleep just holding my arm! I just stared down at you in complete awe! I am so grateful to be your mother! I made a collage the other day of you through the years and it hit me, you really are becoming a little kid. Pretty soon you won't fit on my lap so well, you might not tell me you love me a hundred times a day and insist on giving me hugs and kisses every 5 minutes. You'll grow up and change and that's a good thing, but it made me realize I need to appreciate this phase you are in now! So I just watched you sleep as you clung to my arm! I was going to take a picture but the radio started to act funny and it woke you up! :(

While we were up in the mountains I turned around and found You, Dad, and Livvy all dancing to music coming from Dad's phone. It may have been the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life! I took some video of it because I loved it so much! I hope you never get too shy to just dance you little heart out, no matter where you are! :)

I love you Bently Elmer! There is just something special between a son and a Mom. I am so grateful I get to have that relationship with you!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

You say funny things all the time! I'm horrible at writing them down, but your Dad helped remind me of a couple things you've said! Here we go.

- Today you sent a snapchat to Aunt Janaye. Dad did not prompt you. You said, "Aunt Janaye and Mom are perfect. Aunt Courtney is adorable!"

- At preschool the fire fighters were supposed to come and do a presentation. Now you are scared of firefighters for some reason so your Dad and I showed up when they were supposed to come, to support you. Well they got called out so they couldn't come. Grandma KayLynn asked the preschool kids, "Should we have them come next week, or just not worry about it?" No one spoke but you. You said, "You should just not worry about it!" It was hilarious.

- Last night at Uncle Cole and Aunt Jen's, I asked you if you liked your dessert. Completely honest, you said, "That party was yummy (pointing to the icing). That part was gross!" (Pointing to the actual cake part!)

- Today we decided to have a treat and go to Chuck-A-Rama as a family! When we told you where we were going your face lit up in this huge smile and you yelled, "Chuck-A-Rama YES!" It was hilarious!

-You can scare crows "Scary Crows!"

- The other night your Dad and I were teasing each other making farting noises on our arms. You of course were sound asleep on our floor. Suddenly you started laughing and said, "That's gross! Livvy farted!" Your Dad and I died laughing!

I love you my hilarious boy!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Today we went to the pumpkin patch and it was a little rough for you! Now understand, I have been looking forward to going to the pumpkin patch since like September, maybe even earlier. It's one of my favorite family activities because the adults like it and the kids love it! So you can imagine my disappointment when you cried for half of the trip. You were obviously scared of something at the pumpkin patch. I think we finally came to the conclusion that you were scared of the animals, but that's just a guess. I was about to give up and just go home when I decided to try one more activity. You see, usually we can snap you out of it if we can distract you with something. So off we went to the corn pit. It's like a sandbox but filled with corn kernels. At first you wouldn't get in and it was just me, Dad and Livvy. Finally Dad picked you up and plopped you into the corn. That did it. I saw a small smile on your lips and I knew we were golden! You were 100% happy and adorable the rest of the time! You wanted to go on the hay ride and the slides and we went on a little animal train. The only disappointing thing was we didn't have much time to truly enjoy it after that because I had to work. But I'm just grateful we got some fun in there. :) You kept telling us you were going to be a farmer! It was adorable! And you still have a love for pumpkins. You would scream "PUMPKIN!" every time we saw one, which was very often! :)

We also went to Vernal this weekend to see Uncle Cole and Aunt Jen! We had a blast and you had so much fun with your cousins. It was so wonderful having older kids around to help watch you. You had more freedom than ever. I didn't even know where you were most of the time! ;) You ran outside and inside and played with their dog. It was entertaining to see how you interacted with all of your cousins! You were actually super good at sharing! And you and Skylar had a blast playing together! I always dreamed of these days when you two were born so close together! I can't wait for the summer when you can play with Skylar and Luke! :)

I love you so much handsome!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

You are at a very confusing age. I just do not understand you thought process. Here is my biggest frustration right now. You are terrified of everything. Like everything. But the weirdest is you have started to become so scared of preschool. Preschool is held at Grandma's house and is taught by both your grandmas! It just doesn't make since how you could be afraid. We have spent hours in that house, in the preschool room even! I've tried talking to you about it but you never give me a reason why you are scared. The past 3 or 4 times it has been so hard to drop you off! You cry and scream, "I want my mommy!" And it just breaks my heart. Even though I know you are safe and you're going to be taken care of! If it were up to me I would've let you stay home. But your Dad said no. I know it was the right choice but he's not the one that has to drop you off! :( I love you son! I hate hearing your cry. The weird thing is every time I pick you up you are so happy and go on and on about what you learned in preschool! Today I almost took you with me, but I was glad I didn't. When I came back to pick you up the first thing you said was, "I had fun in preschool!" I knew you would! I love you and I hate having to watch you go through hard things but those are the things that help us grow. I look forward to the day where you are no longer scared of preschool!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Today was an eventful day. Okay not really, I just feel like I have a lot of different things to say, and they don't really correlate with each other. So bear with me.

The first is you walked back and forth with me to the dumpster. And on the way we had some deep conversation. We discussed that you are wearing red, like Mario. Then we figured out we were matching because we were both wearing red! At one point I asked you what you wanted to be when you grow up. I have asked this question multiple times, because you never really give me an answer. I'm starting to think the idea is to complex for you. Anyways, you gave an answer this time! You said, "I was to be a pirate like Daddy, and strong like Daddy!" It melted my little mommy heart! I immediately had to call your Dad and tell him! He was touched too! :)

The hard part of the day came when I wouldn't let you play Mario Kart Wii. Can I tell you how much Mario Kart Wii has been such an issue in our house! You constantly want to play it. When you're not playing it you laze around and do nothing and just whine! It's seriously so annoying! You never give up asking! You ask over and over again. Ugh! So today I wouldn't let you play because you had already spent plenty of time in front of the tv. Your whines turned from, I want to play Mario Kart Wii to, "I want Annie to come over. You go to work Mom!" Now this isn't usually such a big deal. I get it. Annie comes over, and all she has to worry about is hanging out with you. Unlike me, who has to cook and clean and run errands and do other such not fun things. So I get it, Annie is fun. But today that was really, REALLY hard to hear. It might have been that you said it right after Livvy had been screaming for over an hour, or the fact that the house was a mess and I didn't have time to clean it and cook dinner. Or the fact that my dinner was going all wrong. But today, it hurt a lot. It hurt me that I can't be the one taking care of you all the time. It hurt to hear that, even if it's just when you're mad, you prefer someone over me. Now, I know in my non-emotional mind that you are just 3 years old and you  of course love your Mommy the most. But I am not a rational person when I am emotional. I guess I just want you to know that I love you more than anything. I am always here for you and I work hard so that one day I can be the one taking care of you all the time. All I want is to be a stay at home Mom. And maybe, with a couple miracles and some faith, we'll get there some time soon!

I love you so much my handsome man!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

You have started getting so tired in the afternoons. You refuse to nap and you don't often fall asleep before 8:30, despite we usually have you in bed by 7:30. Yesterday you were exhausted. I know your tired when you tell me "Mom, I'm so tired!" We went to the store, where you sat in the cart the whole time, then I loaded you into the car. Every time we go to the store, I load you and Liv into the car and walk the cart to the drop off area. I do this, every. single. time. So I didn't think anything of it. I climbed back in the car and I hear your tiny voice say something. I ask "What?" You said, "I lost you!" That's what I always tell you when you wander away from me in the store. I turned and saw your little face, and your lip was quivering. I said, "I'm sorry! Were you scared?" You immediately burst into tears! I climbed out of the car, and hugged you the best I could with you in your car seat. I felt so bad! You were so scared! I told you I will never, ever leave you. Not ever. And I mean it! I'm always here for you my sweet son! I love you!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Being a mother is a strange thing. It changes you to your very core. Today I came home on break, expecting to find you happy and ready to eat dinner with me. As I walked to the house I heard you crying. I immediately knew something wasn't right. It's hard to explain, but I just knew it. I ran inside to find Annie apologizing to me, saying she didn't know what was wrong. I ran into the bedroom to find you bawling your eyes out on your bed. I can't explain to you the guilt I felt. The guilt of not being there for you when you were in such distress. I knew you were sick. There was no doubt in my mind. I scooped you up as quickly as possible and cuddled you and kissed you. There was no thought of "Oh but I might get sick". I just knew you were hurting and I hated it. Later, you threw up all over the couch. I do not like throw up. In fact I hate a phobia of throwing up when I was younger. But one look in your eyes, how scared you were, the throw up didn't even phase me. All I wanted to do was help you and make sure you were alright. You see, being a parent is an amazing thing. It changes you in ways you don't fully understand. All I know is I would do absolutely anything to keep you safe. To keep you from pain and worry. I heard a quote once that said,

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

This is exactly how I feel about you. I love you so much Bently. I hope you feel better. And forgive me for not being there for you when you were so sad and so sick. I love you more than anything in the entire world.

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Literally 2 minutes ago you walked in to my work with your Dad. It was a normal visit where you covered the white board in smiley faces, commented on the cars you could see on the tv, and twirled in the chairs. As you left though you yelled back at me, "I love you the most Mom!" You have no idea how much my little heart just melted in that moment! I love you the most kid!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

We went camping with my side of the family a couple weekends ago (August 15-16) I tried to get you amped up talking about sleeping in a tent. Turns out, that wasn't such a good idea. On more than one occasion you told us, "No sleep in a tent, that later!" :)

We arrived and you had a BLAST. I mean you loved ever second of it. You loved being around so many kids! You spent the beginning part with Kara mostly. You guys collected grasshoppers. It fascinated me watching you interact with the bugs. Mostly when we're at home you are obsessed with "popping" them. Aka squishing them! ;) But you had a blast alongside all the kids collecting the grasshoppers and showed no fear. I always worry my bug phobia will transfer to you!

Once we drove down the mountain and back (we forgot our food and had to go buy more) you seemed to more evenly spread out your time! You spent a lot of time with Uncle Cole's dog. It was adorable to watch how much you loved that dog. Too bad for you because Dad is severely allergic. That's a dream that will probably never happen!

You loved the campfire and did pretty well staying away from it. I was worried you would be bad, but you were safe and careful. You loved the s'mores too! Just like me! (Dad won't eat them!) Uncle Cole had brought up some children's Unisom and offered you some. That was the best idea ever! 30 minutes later you were exhausted and ready for bed. It still took you a good 30 minutes to fall asleep, but that's much better than I pictured. You almost slept the whole night. You woke up at 5 am and had a conversation with Dad. I mostly slept through it. But you eventually fell back asleep!

You had a melt down on our mini hike. You were just exhausted and out of your element. You were screaming and crying and wanting to be held. OH man. I thought for sure you were going to fall asleep on the car ride home, but surprisingly you and Dad stayed awake and sang together! :)

I love you my big handsome camping man! I can't wait for next year!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Today I took you and Olivia to the splash pad! We had a fantastic time! You were so adorable running around in the water! Then we walked over to the park and played on that until you decided it was, so so hot! Your flip flops broke a couple weeks ago and we can't find them on sale anywhere. So you've been wearing tennis shoes everywhere. I didn't think you should wear tennis shoes to the splash pad, thus your bare feat and hot park! :)

When we came home we made a paper chain countdown to preschool! Holy smokes, I can't believe your going to be in preschool. It's only 5 or so days away! You are so excited! And we had a grand time making the chain together. You helped me cut the paper and put the tape on it. I think you were quite proud of our little craft we made together.

Then we made cookies. I asked if you wanted to make cookies with me and you were ecstatic. You drug the kitchen chair over before I had even gotten a bowl out! Every time I put an ingredient in, you said "Oh I taste that!" You then proceeded to put your finger in the bowl and try everything from sugar to butter! You then ate more than your share of cookie dough! You kept sneaking your fingers into the bowl! Haha! Then you ate like 3 cookies! I'm surprised you went to bed so great tonight! All that sugar!

I guess you got it all out at Valerie and Dan's house. We went to see their condo for the first time and you had a blast giving the tour. You had never been there before but you wanted to give the tour. It was adorable to watch you run from room to room explaining what was in their. At one point your found a teddy bear. You were pretty in love. We left that room and then went into Val and Dan's room where they had a pile of blankets on the ground. You immediately said, "Oh that's the bear's bed." You then ran back to the room grabbed the bear and tucked him in. It was pretty dang adorable!

Today was just one of those amazing days were I didn't have to work and I could pretend like I was a stay at home mom. I loved the adventures we're able to have together when I'm not having to run to work or hurry through my break or do any other crazy thing. It was so fantastical! I loved every second of my day with you. You are seriously the cutest kid in the entire world and I can't get enough of you. I love that you can actually hold conversations with me and I feel like our relationship is two sided now.

I realized lately that you tell us "I love you Mom" or "I love you Dad" a lot. And randomly. As I was thinking about it, I realized, your Dad and I tell you I love all the time. We are definitely a family of I love yous and I am so glad you caught on. I love it when just randomly in the day, you come up, put your arms around me, and say "I love you Mom!" There is seriously nothing better in the entire world.

I love you my handsome man!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Today when I came home from work on break I had to park the car down from the apartment under the covered parking. As I started walking towards the house and I heard a squeal of delight ring through the air! I knew immediately that it was my Bently, excited for me to be home! And I was right! You suddenly appeared, running barefoot towards me with the biggest grin on your face! It seriously melted my heart! I scooped you up and swung you around and covered you in kisses as you giggled wildly. I can't even describe how much a treasure moments like this. I know eventually you might not like me so much. I know eventually you are going to grow up and get your own grown up opinions and there may even come a time where you hardly like me at all. But it's these beautiful moments that I will hold tight to and remember for always! I love you my handsome man!

I love you so much!
Mom

Dear Bently,

I went and turned in a background packet with Orem PD the other day. I had to take you guys along because Dad was working. So I hauled you inside and this sargent I had never met before came to take my packet. He turned to Olivia and asked, "What's her name and how old is she?" I told him and then he motioned to you. I said, "That's Bently." He then said, "Bently, buddy how old are you?" You turned towards him and with a very solemn expression on your face said, "I have to go POO!" This poor Sargent sat there stunned and stammered for a minute before I said, "Well I guess we're going to go find a bathroom." It was too funny! You always keep me laughing cute boy!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

You are growing up so fast! I feel like every day you are saying or doing something new! I love watching you learn and grow! You are so anxious to learn new things! We bought you this book from the dollar store that went through the alphabet and had different activities and you LOVED it! You finished coloring it and doing the activities in one day. This morning you were carrying it around telling me to "clean it" so that you could color some more! I felt bad that I couldn't. I am tempted to go and buy you the same dollar book again you loved it so much!

While working on this coloring book I noticed how you color is changing. You now color specific things on the page and try and stay inside the lines. Now you are no where near close to perfect at this but you sure try. It's crazy that you just don't scribble anymore. You love coloring and telling me "the monkey is pink!' Maybe a good mom would tell you monkey's are not pink, but me, I love learning how you see the world! :)

I love you my handsome boy! Forever and ever!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently Elmer,

Kid, I love you. I love you so much it consumes me and I feel like I'm going to burst! You are my favorite little boy in the whole world and all I want to do is spend time with you. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Right now your Mom has to work 40+ hours a week, plus be a mommy, and a friend, and a wife. And I have to be a mommy not only to you, but to your very cute and very demanding little sister. As I sat here at work today, my mind was running over all the things I have to do the next couple of days. In the midst of the chaos in my mind I thought about you. My sweet innocent beautiful son who is often a tagalong to my many many errands, who is often ignored while I try and do the dishes, or finish a project, or work on the bathroom. My poor son who asks me "Mom do you want to play with me?" And while my whole heart wishes to exclaim yes, of course I do. I know my time is limited and there are things I have to do. As much as I hate it, I tell you no more often than not. Today, as I sat contemplating how much I miss you and just spending time with you, I decided it has to change. I can't do this anymore. I am making a goal for myself to spend more time with my Bently. To do more things that you enjoy. To make the sacraifices necessary to get the chance to play with you. I love you my beautiful boy. I promise to do better. I promise to spend more time with you. I love you little man!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

You my darling boy are adorable! That's not to say you don't have your flaws, because you do. But you are just too cute for words. You say the sweetest things and always love to give us hugs and kisses. My favorite thing is you randomly tell us you love us! You actually do it quite often! It melts my heart every single time! Today I called you into the family room to say goodbye to me before I went to work. As you walked towards me and the open door you noticed it was raining. You said, "Okay it's raining, be careful!" It was seriously the most adorable thing ever! I scooped you up in my arms and your Dad and I just smiled at each other as I held you tight! I love you forever and ever sweet boy!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

We celebrated another great 4th of July this passed Friday! It was amazing that both your Dad and I had it off work! Such a blessing considering the jobs we do! We had seriously the most amazing day. I had talked up the 4th of July to you so you were already pretty excited. All week you kept asking if we were going to the parade! Finally it was time. I couldn't wait to see your reaction and let me tell you, you loved it! You danced and sang and went after that candy with all the big kids. I loved watching you squeal and jump with excitement! And your dad, sat on his knees for like 45 minutes of the parade just so he could enjoy it with you. His knees were black and so soar by the end! You have a seriously dedicated dad! :)

After that we went home watched "Wreck it Ralph" with Aunt Stacey, Uncle Jesse, and Aunt Janaye. My favorite part of the day is you kept getting confused and telling your Dad, "Happy father day's Daddy!" It was so adorable we didn't have the heart to correct you half the time! I loved hearing it! :)

After Liv woke up from napping we played at Aunt Shawna's house. To be honest I barley saw you during this time. You played outside in the pool with your cousin Kara all day. It's hit or miss with you two, but that day, you got along just fine! I loved watching you guys be buddies! I love watching you develop relationships as you get older.

The fireworks were, crazy. You and Livvy were tired and you showed it. Once they started it turned out okay. I loved watching the fireworks go off while snuggling next to my cute family. I can't tell you how proud I am to be an American. We are seriously lucky to live in this country!

I love you Bently Elmer. Holidays just keep getting more and more fun. I love that you get excited for things and you are starting to understand more. I love you so much my son.

Love,
Mom

P.s. I can't believe how big you have gotten. Seriously kid, you are huge! ;)

Dear Bently,

Last Sunday night your Dad and I made a last minute decision. We signed you up for swim lessons. I was so excited. I honestly have been counting down the time where you could start lessons. I dreamed of watching you learn, and grow. I dreamed of you finding your own little friends in your classes. I dreamed of my mommy heart swelling with pride as you accomplished things on your own.

So as you can see, I was anxious and excited as we entered the pool that first day. I felt so old as they asked me my child's name. We walked back to the swimming pool and sat down, waiting to meet your instructor. Then he was there. Nate. A can't be older than 18 man with big smile. He called your name and without a look back you followed him into the pool. I sat there, shocked at how fast every thing had happened. I almost wished you would have clung to me, begged to stay by my side. But you were fine. You were happy. And me? I was crying. Hahaha! I was so incredibly overcome by the situation. It's funny how life works. I am obviously way more emotional than I think I am. I always think I'm not going to cry, but I do. I cried when we heard your heartbeat. I cried when you were born. I cried on your blessing day. I cried on your birthday, all of them. And I'm sure there are more that I am simply not thinking of.

The point of this long rambling letter, is that I cannot believe how old you are getting. I can't believe you are old enough to go do an activity with out me. I am excited for you, and I am a little sad for me. I know I am going to miss the days where you needed me for everything. I know that the challenges we face together are going to start to change. I know I am going to have to let you grow and learn more on your own now. But know, through it all, I love you so incredibly much. I love you more every single day I get to spend being your mother. I feel honored to be blessed with such an incredible sweet boy who I love more than my own life.

I love you my big boy!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Today you were my shopping buddy while Daddy stayed home with Liv. We went to Walmart and Smiths and then got snow cones! I can't even tell you how much I value time with just us. It's few and far between so I know I have to make it count! I asked you tons of questions and listened to your sweet little answers. I loved talking to you about what you saw. We held hands and jumped like crazy people down the aisles and pretended to be frogs together. As we walked out of Walmart I pointed out a BIG truck to you! You told me it was so big it could touch the sky! :) I love listening and getting glimpses into your mind! I love you so much Bently Elmer! I am constantly amazed by how wonderful and perfect you are. I have no idea how I got so lucky to get such a sweet little boy like you! You are adorable and I love you more than I could ever explain to you!

Love,

Mom

Us at the snow cone place!

Dear Bently,

Kid you are too funny. I say this all the time but your speech just is making leaps and bounds. I am always surprised by the things you know how to say. Yesterday you were pretending to be a coo-coo clock and I was like, "how the heck do you know what a coo-coo clock is?!" Today you woke up calmly got out of bed, walked out of the room, walked back in the room, and said "Mama wake up. Turn the dark off!" Which translated means turn the lights on. Hahaha! 


You have began this thing when you make your eyes go as big as possible as you talk. You do it mostly when you get excited or want our attention. It's pretty hilarious! I am trying very hard to catch it on video because it makes me laugh so hard. I hope you never stop doing it! Today you were helping me make waffles and we poured in a cup of milk. You exclaimed with your big eyes, "That's a lot of milk!"


I love you so freaking much! You make me laugh everyday and I love how our relationship is changing now that you can communicate more effectively. It's so fun to get a peak inside what you are thinking! :)


Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Your Daddy said you needed me today. I guess you woke up in the middle of the night and asked for me. You wanted your mommy! It made me happy and broke my heart all at the same time. I still count down to the day when I get to be home with you all the time. It may not be in the too near future but I know it's coming! After your Dad told me I just sat there by your bed and watched you sleep. I couldn't believe how incredibly perfect you are! You are one handsome boy! I held your hand and kissed you. :) I am so grateful for quiet moments with you. Even if you don't remember them, it's moments like these I will hold in my heart forever.  I love you handsome man more than you'll ever know!


Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Today we were just sitting at the dinner table talking after eating dinner. You randomly run your fingers through my hair and in your sweet 3 year old voice you say, "Mom your hair is beautiful!" (I wish you could hear how you said beautiful because it was stinking cute!) I laugh and tell you thank you. You, without missing a beat, say "Dad your hair is puffy!" Which of course it was. We laughed so hard. You are pretty hilarious my Bently boy! :)

Also today you kept telling me you didn't love mom you loved dad. Fed up I started to tickle you every time you say it! (You have been such a mommy's boy recently I know you say it to get a reaction out of me!) You laughed and laughed. In that moment I caught a glimpse of you smiling at me, laughing your head off, and I couldn't help but think, this is the life. Boy, you are my happiness and I am so incredibly grateful to have you!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently and Olivia,

Real Life. That is what I am living. Well I guess that's what we're all living. :) When I imagined growing up, getting married, having children, I expected the fairy tale. Adoring husband, perfectly behaved children, white picket fence, of course I would be a stay at home mom, and the house would be spotless and smell of chocolate chip cookies. This is not my reality. My reality right now, today, is as follows. Husband is sick, throwing up every hour or so. Livvy is teething and is crying and wanting to be held almost constantly. Also not napping. Bently is adorable and is such a trooper for taking the back seat. The house is a mess. Seriously. Dishes are stacked everywhere, the family room floor needs to be vaccumed, badly. The bathroom is starting to look like a public bathroom (eww), and the list could go on and on. The kia needs an oil change, but we're out of money for this pay period. I am trying to clean and cook and take care of 2 crying kids (yes one of those is daddy! ;) Plus working full time. I am currently living off of 4 hours of broken sleep and it's making me extra emotional! I sat here at work thinking of all the things I had to do and feeling very overwhelmed. I suffer with comparing my life to others. I want that picture perfect life I dreamed about as a child. I want to be home all the time with my babies, I want to buy a house and fill it to the brim with memories. As I sat, wallowing in self pity, I realized, this is real life. No one, NO ONE, has the perfect life. All lives are filled with trials and sorrows. I guess what I am trying to say, is when you grow up, get married, have babies, don't be surprised if it's not exactly how you pictured it. If you don't have the nicest furniture, or a full set of matching dishes, or a house. Don't feel overwhelmed when the dishes pile up in the sink and the children are screaming and you make waffles for dinner because frankly, you barley had time to do that. Because I learned today, I need to enjoy these moments. The moments when my kids are little, where I am a 911 dispatcher and have the opportunity, every single day to help someone. The time where your Dad gets to be home, to share in special memories with you. There is so much beauty in my life. Bently and Olivia, you guys are a big majority of that beauty. You and your Dad. You guys are my happiness, my happily ever after. You make every single day amazing. I have so much to be grateful for and I truly feel like I am living my fairy tale. Sure it has it's downs and twist and turns, but how boring would your story be if it was perfect? I guess this long rambling letter is just to tell you, life isn't always perfect. It hardly ever turns out how you plan, and that is ok. Because you can do hard things. You can overcome and move on, and become a better person because of what you've been through. Trust in the Lord and his plan and his timing and all will be okay in the end. I promise.


I love you both so much. Thank you for your smiles and endless hugs and kisses. I can't get enough of my adorable babies!


Love,
Your very tired and rambling Mom.

Dear Bently,

Today we went swimming with Aunt Shawna and her family and Aunt Janaye. The weird part is it was just you and me. Your Dad stayed home with Olivia. We had so much fun and I enjoyed the opportunity to spend a little one on one time with you! :) It was so neat to cuddle you and hold you close and listen to what you had to say! I love every second of our little Mommy son date together! :)

Oh and earlier today while watching "Frozen", again, you cuddled with me on the couch! I loved laying there holding you close and of course randomly tickling you! It was a pretty perfect day! I love you so much son!

Love,
Mom

P.s. Icing on the cake, you started calling me Mommy today! Cutest thing ever! :)

Dear Bently,

We celebrated Easter today! You had a blast, at least as far as I could tell! We had a strange Easter because I worked till 5 am. So we didn't actually hunt for eggs till after 12! Ops! We loved hunting for the eggs though you were really REALLY bad at finding the eggs. You are just not a good looker. You just stand there staring. We're like, "Bently look right there!" and some how you still don't see it. Haha! You had a blast doing it though! You would exclaim, "Oh an egg!" every time! :) We also did a little hunt outside with plastic eggs. You didn't improve much even with the earlier practice! We came inside and you started to open some eggs. Your Dad had put money in a couple of them because that's what Grandma Hodson had done when he was little. There was one with some change and one with a dollar bill. I filmed you opening the change one but you didn't have much reaction. Then as you opened the egg with the dollar bill (when I wasn't filming of course! :( ) You exclaimed "Oh my gosh!! Money!" I guess you already know a dollar is more impressive than some change! ;)


Later I was feeling guilty because we didn't make it to church due to my working so late. I really wanted you to know the real meaning of Easter. So I tried to explain the resurrection to you as best I could in terms you would understand. In the middle of the story you stop to tell me, "Jesus gave me my Spiderman puzzle." I didn't quite know how to react to that one! ;) So maybe you didn't quite understand the story, but at least you know Jesus gives you things! ;)


I love you my big boy. You seriously look so old to me now. I can't believe that you are a kid now and not a little toddler. It makes me a  little sad! :( I love you more than words could possibly describe. I hope you always know I have a testimony of the resurrection. That I know our family can be together forever, even after this life, because of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice for us.


I love you Bently!


Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

You have started to do this thing which is pretty hilarious. Any time we ask you to do something you don't want to do you say "No, I'm too tired" or "No I'm too sick!". It's hilarious and slightly annoying! I'll say "Bently eat your dinner!" and you'll say "No eat dinner, I'm too tired!" But strangely you never want to nap. I love you funny kid!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Today we went outside and played bubbles. Your Dad, you, and me. Livvy was sleeping so you got some great individual time with both parents. We had a blast together! We blew so many bubbles! You laughed and giggled and pointed at the bubbles. It was a seriously perfect moment! I love the every day moments that make life magical. And this was one for me! :) I love you my handsome 3 year old!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Yesterday and the day before we celebrated your 3rd birthday. Boy did we celebrate. I feel bad actually because this party convinced me no more big parties. Lol. We had like 25 people crammed into our tiny apartment to celebrate you! We had your party on Thursday the 3rd so your Grandpa Paul could be there! We had pizza and presents and cake! To be honest it was pretty worth it! You had SO much fun! This was the first party where you had friends to invite. We had 5-6 little kids all under the age of 3 there. It was crazy but like I said, you had a blast! :) You were adorable opening presents, albeit not super grateful! I didn't think to coach you to say thank you before the party and while it was going on it was just too crazy! To be honest I didn't even feel like I saw you at your party! I was so busy talking to people and trying to keep things running smoothly. Another reason I want to stick to small parties in the future! Oh highlight of the party. You came up to me and told me you needed to go pee. You do this quite often even if you don't have to go. So I asked you "Did you say you need to go pee?" But you ignored me and walked away. Assuming that meant no I turned back to talking to who I was talking to. Suddenly I heart raised voices and I look over and you had pulled your pants and underpants down to your ankles and you were headed to the bathroom. I quickly picked you up and took you there myself. So pretty much you flashed multiple people at your third birthday party! :)

The day of your birthday was 100% perfect! We got up and went to the store and bought treats for our zoo day! You LOVE the zoo so we decided to go there for your birthday! We also decided to invite Grandma Kay Lynn to come with us. We got some yummy treats went home and packed up. We were off! We had so much fun. It was seriously the most perfect day. I couldn't help but just randomly stop during the day and just watch you and your Dad and sister and think "I am the luckiest person in the world!" We were all happy, we took our time, and just enjoyed the most perfect day at the zoo! You had so much fun! We all did! We had lunch in the zoo and  you thought that was pretty cool!

After the zoo we went home and had ravioli and watched Spiderman of course! :) We had bought you a wiggle car and gave it to you at your birthday party. For your actual birthday we wrapped a couple dollar presents to give to you! We gave you a bath and dressed you in your new Spiderman jamies and then you saw them! You pointed at the presents and exclaimed, "Those are for me!" It was adorable! Obviously you now had experience with presents due to the previous day! This present opening was so much more enjoyable for me. You found joy in each present and you were so excited. It was just you, me, your Dad, and Grandma Kay Lynn. I loved watching your face light up at each gift. I couldn't get over how old you looked in your Spiderman pjs! (Which are 4t and fit you almost perfectly! Stop growing!) 

Then we brought in a cupcake with the candle and we all sang! You had to take multiple tries to get that candle out but you did it! :)

I love you Bently. I couldn't imagine a better birthday celebration! It was perfect! The best part is you had fun! As

Dear Bently,

You are just a couple days away from being a big 3 year old and I can't even begin to describe how hard this birthday has been for me. For some reason 1 year and 2 years old didn't seem like such a big deal. You still seemed little to me. But 3. 3 is big. Three is preschool and swim lessons and soccer teams. Three is talking in full sentences and having friends. Three is learning to share and showing compassion and thinking of others. Three is doing things with out Mommy. Three is entering the kid world and leaving the toddler one behind. I think what is getting to me the most is three represents three years of not being able to be at home with you all the time. Three years I've missed. Three years worth of memories I don't have. That has hit me hard this week. Even with all the sadness I am so excited to continue to watch you grow and change. And I am so grateful for the memories and fun we have experienced together these last 3 years! :)You are so excited for your Spiderman birthday party and I am excited to watch you just be happy. Nothing gives me more joy than watching you be happy. I love you my almost big boy!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

I thought of another funny thing you said. The other night we were trying to convince you to eat your dinner because you don't really eat much of anything. We kept saying "Bently eat some of your chicken!" To which you replied, "No chicken for me. I'm busy!" I laughed really hard!


Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

The other day you went poop on the toilet and cheered of course. Then as you studied your long green poop (sorry for the tmi) you told me it was "Dragon Poop". I laughed pretty hard at you for that one!


Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

You are too cute son. You are in a stage where after you fall down or get hurt you say, "Kiss it!" and point to your Ouchy! It's stinking adorable! I have kissed many strange places because you have asked me too! Including your foot and today (albeit on accident) your tongue. Haha! You moved a little too fast for me on that one! You also beg for hugs and kisses! This morning we were sitting on the couch together when you exclaim "A hug!" and then we hug and you say "A kiss!" I'm not going to lie I loved it! I love every time you want to give me a hug or kiss. As you begin to talk more you remind me more and more often the important parts of life. Like when you sweetly ask "Mama play with me?" You stare up at me with your sweet pleading puppy dog eyes and how can I help but say yes. I love being with you. I love talking to you and listening to what you have to say! Every night as we put you to sleep you say "Mama sleep with me?" I hate having to say no. You are terrified of something in your room (has to do with your window??) and I wish that I could snuggle down and keep you safe. But I know that you are safe and okay.

Today we went to the store before I went to work. You asked "Mama go to the park with me?" I said "Oh sorry buddy, I have to go to work." You reacted like I never imagined. You started crying and through your tears you mumbled "Mama no go to work. Go to the park with me!" My heart broke into a million pieces. "Maybe Dad will take you to the park." I thought that would satisfy you. I assumed you wanted to go to the park and you wouldn't care who took you. "No Dad, Mama go to the park." I can't even tell you how much it hurt me. You have always been a Daddy's boy and never have really cared when I go to work. While I always wanted to be your favorite, I was actually grateful you preferred your Dad. I was so scared of encountering moments like this. I already have so much guilt for working full time and I knew if you started to care that I left, it would make it harder. I was not wrong. Oh how I wish I could just stay home with you always! I would do it in a heartbeat if I could! Your Dad and I are working every day to make that dream into a reality!

I love you my adorable little man! I hope you always know how much I love you. I always make when I tuck you in at night to tell you a million times. I say "Do you know your Mommy loves you!" You always grin and say "yes". I hope that answer never changes and you never doubt how much love I have for you!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Well my son you've gone days without an accident! I'm thinking you are completely potty trained! You've even made it through hour long car rides and have peed in public bathrooms! :) You are amazing my son! I am so proud of you! It's crazy to see you growing up! I love watching you run around in your big boy underpants! You are seriously the cutest! You always tell us, "I have to pee!" Then we set you on toilet and you immediately say "Go away!" I guess you like your privacy! Then once you've done the deed you yell out, "I did it!" It's pretty stinking cute! My mistake was in buying a little toilet, instead of just teaching you to go on the big one every time. I hate having to dump it into the big toilet to flush it! I always get pee on myself! But you love that stupid little toilet. I'm thinking it's going to disappear some day soon... ;)

You've started to say "I love you" a lot more. And more randomly. You will now say it first, without prompting from us. You speech in general has taken off as of late! You now speak in complete sentences. (though they don't always make sense!) You also sing all the time. Daddy had you at the park the other day and you started belting out Miley Cyrus song "Wrecking Ball" at the top of your lungs. I guess you got a few laughs out for the one! ;)

I am so awful! I always think of all these things I want to write about and then as soon as I sit down they're gone! You are at such a fun stage right now and I don't want to forget anything! I'm going to have to be better at writing them down!

I love you my big boy!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Yesterday you went the whole day with no accidents and no peeing in your diaper! I am so incredibly proud of you handsome! :) You did insist on wearing a diaper for part of the day, which is doesn't make sense since you still go on the potty! ;) I guess you really are a big boy now! ;(

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

This is what I count as day 2 of your self induced potty training. Today was actually a little more bumpy than yesterday. You started out the morning by peeing your pants at the breakfast table. You're already stressed out Dad didn't appreciate that so much. You then insisted on wearing a diaper. We've mostly let you decide. That might change as you get older but forcing you to potty train didn't work before so we're giving this method a go. Even though you were wearing a diaper you still went to the bathroom in the toilet! After you peed and pooped in the toilet you told Dad you wanted underpants. So you're in underpants currently! So I would say it was a pretty successful day! I'm grateful that every single accident you've ever had has always been in the kitchen. It's a miracle really because every where else is carpeted! :)

I love you my big boy! Seeing you wear underwear and go on the potty makes me realize how old you really are! I love you handsome!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

Things sure have changed quickly in our house! Yesterday March 3, 2014 you told Dad that you wanted to go on the potty. He sat you on it but nothing happened. Not even 5 minutes later you told me to put you on the potty. So I did. A little irritated at the way this game is going. When you told me you went potty, I honestly didn't believe you one bit. But to my utter amazement and surprise, you had! You had pooped on the potty! Something you had never done before! I cheered and Dad came in because he had to see it for himself, then he cheered! I was shocked. I told your Dad maybe we wouldn't have change any more poopy diapers. I really didn't believe that anything would come of it. I mean you hated going on the potty. I thought it was some strange fluke. This morning though you wanted underwear. And you wore them pretty much all day long! You went pee on the potty every time. You did go a tiny bit in your undies once but not enough to make a mess even! I am in utter shock right now! You are so grown up. It's just like when you started walking. You went from not wanting to do it, to being pretty much a pro at it! ;) You even tell me when you have to go when I forget to remind you!

To be honest though today has been a hard day. The bribe was you go on the potty and you could play with my phone/nook. I didn't think you would ever go on the potty so when I made that deal, I didn't think I would have to follow through. So all day today you have wanted my phone/nook. That means every 2-10 minutes you are telling me you have to go pee. Even when you just went. Then you push until you get a drop of pee out and then think you get a reward. I don't really know how to fix this problem. All I know is I cannot keep putting you on the potty that often in one day! It's a lot of work. I am so exhausted! ;) You and Livvy kept me on my toes all day long!

I'm proud of you son! You are the cutest little man! You always get so excited when you go on the potty! :) And I am pretty excited too! Maybe we won't have to be diapers for you ever again! I love you so much my heart feels like it's going to burst! :)

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

We are making slow and steady progress in the potty training area of life. It's not going as fast as I want it to to be honest. But I can't blame you. I just don't have the time right now to be consistent with you. Thus potty training will be put on hold till at least my days off! :) Today though we did manage 1 time on the toilet! It's mostly because I had you sitting on the toilet and you happened to pee. You still don't remember to tell me when you have to go. Which was clearly demonstrated by your 2 accidents. Again this could be my fault, I wasn't being consistent on putting you on the potty or asking you if you needed to go. I guess I just hoped you would know. It's a work in progress. But hey, at least we can put underwear on you without you throwing a fit! ;)

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

You have started this adorable thing where you say "ok" all the time. I don't know why but it is seriously stinking cute! "Bently take off you jacket and shoes." "Okay Mom." How you say it just melts my little heart! :)

You Dad and I went shopping for a new mattress today and you had a blast trying out all the bed with us. You just giggled the whole entire time! I loved it! You would say "Oh this is a nice bed!" You were always so enthusiastic! I bet you would have been happy with any of those beds! Thanks for helping us pick it out! ;)

You are so much better with other kids now! It's amazing how much you've changed. I didn't even remember how bad you used to be till today. There you were at McDonalds taking turns and playing so well! I try and make you a play date once a week! It's my goal to help socialize you more and for me to be more brave in talking to other moms. We've played with mostly family so far! You love your cousins and they have started to love you more as you get better at playing with them! :)

You have picked up a horrible habit from me, but it's kind of cute too! You say "Oh my gosh!" all the time. I don't think you quite know what it is suppose to be used for because you say it at the most random times! It's kind of cute because you always exclaim it loudly and hold out the gooosh! ;) I'm pretty sure that's how you've caught me saying it! ;)

Speaking of which, don't judge us too harshly, but your Dad and I don't always have the cleanest language. We try really hard not to say things but sometimes they just come out. The other day soda exploded on your Dad and without thinking he said, "Holy Shi*" I glared him down and not a second later you laugh and say "Dad said holy shi*". I about died! Luckily you forgot it soon enough. Your Dad and I laughed about it later but if you could not swear, we would appreciate it! ;)

I love you Bently Elmer! I hope you always love me even with my shortcomings!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

So I believe it was yesterday I told you if you wore underpants you could play with my Nook. Mostly I was sick of you asking to play with it and I figured you wouldn't want to wear  underpants so problem solved. To my surprise you were good with the idea. I figured once it actually came time to put them on you would throw a fit and wouldn't do it. To my utter shock and delight you didn't care. You wore your underpants for a good couple hours before it was time to leave and the diapers went back on.

Today I decided to leave them on and pray you went to the bathroom. You again easily slipped them on without complaint. I kept asking you if you needed to use the restroom and you kept saying no. It had been a long time (like 2-2 1/2 hours) But you still kept saying you didn't need to go. Finally, it happened. You peed your pants. It wasn't a big deal and I made sure to be very cool with it. But it still freaked you out pretty badly. After that the diaper was all you wanted. You want to wear underpants but you do not want to pee on the potty. I guess we'll just keep trying. The frustrating part is I just don't have time to potty train you and I don't think your Dad could handle doing it himself. I hope one day peeing doesn't freak you out so badly anymore! ;) I sure do love you!

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

I am beginning to despair you will never be potty trained. Okay so I know never is a little dramatic. But I always had this idea in my head that a child should be potty trained by 3. Three just seemed old. Kids who weren't potty trained by then had lazy parents. Parents who didn't care. Let me tell you having my own children always reminds me all my preconceived notions of being a mom, were wrong. You are exactly 51 days away from being 3 and there is no potty training in sight. You still are terrified of going to the bathroom outside your diaper. It's very depressing that you'll be three and still going in your diaper. But I guess you never know. Maybe tomorrow you'll wake up and realize you want to pee on the potty. Hey a mom can dream right?

I love you even if you wear diapers after 3! ;)

Love,
Mom

Dear Bently,

You my son are getting too old! Every day your talking improves and every day I love talking to you! You tell me all the time what you see. The other day you were looking out the living room window. There were a bunch of birds on the ground. I was reading my book and didn't realize what you were doing right away. You started suddenly yelling "Stop! Stop birds! Stop walking on the snow! Fly!" It was hilarious! You were so incredibly angry at those birds! I couldn't help but laugh at your cuteness!

Bently you are such a sweet little boy. Sure you throw your tantrums and sometimes hurt your sister, but over all, you are just a sweet heart! You are so good at sharing. Today we were getting ready to leave the house. You happened to find the candy bowl on the counter. This is a huge bowel! There has been some M&M's in the very bottom past all the packaged stuff. You managed to find 2 of the last remaining M&M's. As we walked out the door you said "here mama". I was distracted and didn't understand what you were doing till you slipped the M&M into my hand. I hadn't asked you to give me one, you just did. It brought tears to my eyes. You were willing to share with me. It was a little moment but I can't explain how happy it made me. You share with me all the time. You never hesitate to give me some of your drink or a bite of your candy. You melt my heart every time little man. :)

The other day we were blowing bubbles together! As I watched you run back and forth blowing bubbles I couldn't help but wish to freeze time! You had the biggest grin on your face and I couldn't help but smile right along with you! Kid you are cute. Like adorable! With your blond hair and blue eyes, you are a looker! I wished just for a second I could keep you this age. That I could stop your growing up. That perhaps we could stay in this moment just a little longer.

I'm really going to have to get better about writing you. You do some many adorable things and I just love you so much! You are seriously the cutest little boy ever!

Love,

Mommy

Today I was midst doing my hair when you said "Take picture of Mom and Bently!" Taking pictures is one of your new favorite things to do! :) I told you if you got my phone I would take a picture. To be honest, I was hoping you wouldn't find it! My hair was a mess! But low and behold not a minute later you were back with my phone! So, good on my word, we took pictures! And I am so grateful we did! I love seeing you smile! I love taking goofy pictures together! I love seeing the world through your eyes. A world were looks don't matter. Where no matter what Mom's hair looks like, she's still just your Mom! Thank you for reminding me of that!

With Olivia getting better at napping in her bed we get an opportunity to have one on one time more often! I love it! This day we finger painted and played! We sure had fun! I wish you could remember these days!

The Hyer's bought you this adorable church suit! I couldn't resist taking about a million pictures of you! You are stud!

You have been sleeping horribly! Thus you have been acting like a little terror most days! This day was one of them! You were so tired. You told me you wanted to go to Walmart with me. We walked outside when you decided you didn't. So I walked you back inside. Then as I was leaving you decided you did want to come. Once I opened the car door, you didn't. I was done. I said forget it. I lifted you up and put you in your seat. You began to throw a huge fit. So bad I couldn't even buckle your car seat all the way. After 5 minutes of trying I gave up and drove very carefully to Walmart while you screamed the entire way. In Walmart you wanted me to hold you. I told you I couldn't hold you and push a cart. I gave you the option to ride in the cart or walk. Neither appeased you so I began to drag you through the store. You screamed for 15 minutes straight. Up and down every aisle. Finally I sat you on the handle of the shopping cart and let you lean against me. It was in this very strange position that you fell asleep for about 5 minutes. I guess that really reenergized you because you woke up in a semi better mood. We then spent some time looking at the giant valentines day animals together! I love you son and adventures with you are always just that, an adventure. :)

Dear Bently,

You are becoming an excellent big brother! I love watching you and Liv start to interact a little more. You love being with her and are always talking about Livvy. We'll be driving in the car and you always update us on her condition. "Mommy Livvy sad!" Or "Mommy Livvy's sleeping!" (Even though most of the time when you say that she is wide awake! Today as I was getting Olivia dressed you took the opportunity to blow raspberries on her belly! She just smiled and you couldn't help but smile back! Moments like that make my heart melt as a parent! I can't wait till you guys can actually play together!


We are struggling my son. Ever since potty training you refuse to fall asleep unless we are in there with you! Then after you finally fall asleep you wake up every 2 or so hours screaming your toddler head off. At first I had so much sympathy! You genuinely seemed terrified of something! It broke my heart to see you so scared! We worked on making sure you felt safe and talking to you about what's scaring you. You are having a hard time telling us what is scary. So far all I've managed to understand is you are afraid of your window and Potter. I don't know what the heck Potter did to you but he must of scared you. As the days have worn on I'm getting more and more frustrated. I think it has something to do with the fact your Dad and I aren't getting any sleep. We are both loosing it! We are exhausted. Between you and Livvy we're averaging about 5 hours each. If we're lucky. Last night you were up from 4:30 till 6 in the morning. I broke down and just cried. I was so tired and I was frustrated that as your Mom I couldn't help you! I felt awful. I could see it in your face that you were worried about me. Your at an age now when you know I'm sad when I cry. I try so hard not to cry in front of you! I'm sorry little man! It's not mad at you! I'm just frustrated that I can't help you! We finally solved it by leaving the light in the hall on and your door open. And you slept on the ground. I figured whatever works. But then you were up at your normal 8:30. I have no idea what to do but we'll just keep trying to make it better! I don't want you to be afraid! It breaks my heart when you yell out "I'm scared!" Or "Mommy help me!" I promise we'll figure something out!


You say some pretty cute things right now! Before you were terrified to go to bed you used to yell out "Help me! Somebody! Anybody!" when you woke up! It's hilarious! It makes me laugh every time! I had no idea where you got it from till your Dad informed me that is a direct quote from The Lion King! Also, you sing the circle of life almost word for word! But when it says, "Till we find our place, in the path unwinding," You always sing "Till we find our place of the path of Lion King!" I love it! Seriously it's so adorable! I'm going to make a quick list of all the songs you can sing by yourself. Seriously you are pretty amazing learning the words to songs!


1.) I am a Child of God
2.) I Love to See the Temple
3.) I'm so Glad when Daddy Comes Home
4.) Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus (Not so proud of that one but you really like it!)
5.) Bright Spring Morning by Suburban Legends
6.) This is the Tale of Cpt Jack Sparrow (Personal favorite of yours! ;)
7.) Monster Mash
8.) Splish Splash I was taking a Bath


There are more but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head! See every night before you go to bed we sing songs with you. We used to just choose random songs but now you choose them! It varies which songs! You used to always have us sing the splish splash song and monster mash. But lately it's other ones! Like Cpt Jack Sparrow song or I'm a Child of God. A couple nights in a row (This was a couple months ago) you kept insisting we sing the Captain song. Every night you would throw a fit and we both had no idea what song you wanted! Finally one night your Dad just made one up. "Bently is my captain Bently is my captain, nanananananana!" You loved it so now we sing that song all the time! It's pretty hilarious! :)


I love you handsome man! I will try and be better about writing all the cute stuff you do! You seriously do hilarious things every single day! I love you Bently!


Love,
Mommy

Dear Bently,

Ah man am I behind on your letters. I had 2 weeks off of work and I did pretty much nothing productive. Okay that's not entirely true! I spent tons of time with you and organized a couple cupboards. So that was good! ;) Anyways I'll try and catch up and remember everything...


The first thing is a couple weeks ago, before California, I got you naked for a bath. I then said go get into the bath tub. I was shocked when I watched you climb easily into the bathtub. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal but watching your little toddler butt go up and into the bathtub hit me hard in the face. You're a big kid now. You can actually do things by yourself. I love watching you learn and grow but it is a little bitter sweet! :(


We went to California! It was fun but stressful. The driving to and from were the worst!!! We drove there in one day and it was rough. You did better than Olivia but you started to loose it by the end. the worst was trying to put you to bed that night. You were so wound up from sitting all day. Plus we were in a new environment. But you like I said you weren't too awful on the drive. You were actually pretty cute most of the time! You would wear the sunglasses the Hyers got you so you could be like Mom and Dad. Then we would all sing songs together! You love to sing! Love it! And you actually sing more words more clearly than when you talk. You know more of the words to the songs on the radio than I do! I absolutely loved watching you sitting in your car seat with you bed head and your sunglasses on singing your little guts out! Adorable!


You got to meat your Great Grandma and Grandpa Stetson while we were there! Grandma and Grandpa Stetson hold a very special place in my heart. Number one because they are amazing people who are always giving and number 2 because I feel like they are a small connection I have with my Dad. It's always fun to look at them and try and imagine which traits my own father would have. You loved Grandma and Grandpa and we had a ton of fun with them!


We also got to go to the graveyard and see my Dad's grave. It was such a beautiful and peaceful day! The sun was out and I just sat on the grass and took it in. I had a goal to make it without crying but that didn't happen. As I'm sure you will learn it doesn't take much to make me cry. It was the first time I "talked" to my dad at his grave. It was a little strange but it felt good to say things to him out loud. You mostly ran around the cemetery. You didn't understand and that's okay. I tried to explain this was my dad Papa Tim. You melted my heart as we walked away and I said "Say goodbye papa Tim" And you did loud and proud little man. I know you would have loved him! I'm so grateful to know some day you and me will get to see him again! :)


We also took a little trip down to San Francisco. I actually had a lot of mommy guilt this trip. I realized while in San Fran that the whole trip wasn't exactly filled with Bently friendly activities. I felt bad that you had probably been bored the past couple days. I realized it hadn't been the funnest trip for you and I'm sorry little man! I promise next time I'll plan more kid friendly activities! You did enjoy looking at the bridge and walking around in the rain. We also got to look at some seals which was fun! They are extremely stinky though! ;) You were so adorable the whole time! I just love going and doing new things with you. I get more excited for you to do new things than for myself!


The last thing I need to catch up on is we tried potty training! I was so excited to start potty training. We're pretty poor right now and having that extra money would be awesome! I set up a whole party for you and I talked it up. I bribed you with the zoo and talked all morning about going on the potty. Then I brought out a present for you. Big boy underwear. Now I was thinking before hand it might not go well due to you never really talking positively about the potty. But I took off your diaper and put on the underpants. Immediately we were in melt down mode. I managed to distract you with my Nook for about 2 seconds before it got worse. You were screaming so hard your face was starting to turn purple. You were thrashing around going from me to your dad to me again. I was totally confused and didn't know what to do. Your Dad said, "maybe he has to go potty." So I pulled down your underwear and sat you on the potty and immediately you went. Just like that you peed in the potty! I was on cloud nine! Your Dad and I screamed and jumped for joy! We were so happy! We gave you a treat. I thought for sure now that you had done it I figured you would want to do it again. Oh boy was I wrong. Now sooner was the treat gone than the screaming continued. Finally after a good 10 minutes of trying to convince you we put you back in a diaper per your demands. "No underwear. Diapers!" I guess we'll try again later. I want you potty trained before three but we'll see if that happens!


I love you handsome! I hope you always know how much!


Love,
Mommy


P.s. Recently you started calling my Mommy instead of Mama and I LOVE IT!!! Seriously was so excited when I heard you call me Mommy! :) Made my whole day! I don't know why it makes a difference but it does! :)